"Joy is not a goal, joy is your guide." - Dr. Robert Holden

The Desire for Happiness

There is not a single person I speak with that doesn’t desire to feel better in their life overall. Most people want to be happier than they are, not matter how good they already feel.

A lot of people want a happier romantic relationship, a happier and more fulfilling experience at work, a schedule that makes them feel more joyful/hopeful/good… the list goes on.

Happiness, joy, pleasure, and generally feeling good in your life requires multiple layers of awareness, insights, and action. Here's how it works:

Layer One: DESIRE

First, you have to own the choice that you want to experience more happiness. It sounds simple, but not everyone is actually ready for more happiness. (I just spoke with someone today who agreed that she says she wants more happiness but she doesn't actually want it because she's not ready to change.) Owning the desire for more happiness is the key to growing this in your life.

Layer Two: AWARENESS

Secondly, you’re invited to cultivate a keen awareness of what specifically fuels your joy - and what robs it. This will take time because you’ll be observing patterns in yourself, your interactions with people, and your life/work overall. This is a stage of data collection.

LAYER Three: ACTION

Thirdly, based on your data collected, you get to start making small (and sometimes big), proactive steps and taking different actions that will feed your joy and mitigate vampires to your joy. I call this playing defense (keeping what you don’t want away) and playing offense (proactively taking steps towards your happiness).

The application below is dedicated to supporting you in Layer Three.

Take about 10-15 mins to sit with your journal and get quiet. Really think about the specifics to each of your answers. The more specific they are, the higher the ability to create happiness.

Playing Joy Defense:

What specific dynamics rob you of your joy?
What specific people dim your joy?
What other sensations or experiences take away from feeling good?

Playing Joy Offense:

What sorts of experiences bring you happiness?
What sensations (external, physical) bring you joy and pleasure?
What specific people feed your happiness?

Take a moment to answer these questions and feel free to reach out with any questions here.