In December, a dream I had for well over a decade came to fruition: I became a member of TED — and I attended my first TEDWomen conference.

Here's what I learned and took away...

To say it was memorable for me would be an understatement. Having lunch with one of the first European female astronauts was more than memorable… And sharing a cocktail with the woman who created a whole national budgeting system that regulates equal pay for men and women in Austria was bonkers.

Per TED’s brand, the productive value was incredible, the women (and men) who attended were exceptional, and the speakers and artists were remarkable.

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My Takeaways From TEDWomen

#1: You Belong
The sense of togetherness, and each person having value, was palpable. Although different people played different roles (attendees, technical staff, speakers, etc), it was articulated that every person has a valuable role to play there -- and in the world.

That includes YOU reading this. Owning your right to be a learner, and to share those learnings, is paramount.

We don’t talk enough about how people belong. If you’re reading this and are wondering, you belong here. Share your learnings with others.

#2: Don't Waste Your Pain
Every artist and speaker who took the stage was there because of something significant and impactful they created — and every single one of them were faced with a moment of choosing to turn their pain into action. They didn’t run from their pain, they used it to step into what was next.

> A woman who turned her sexual assault into a movement of mobility and walking companions for women in India.

> A woman who turned her upset with unequal pay into teaching local farmers how to exchange food/water for their livestock, and ultimately saving entire villages in the Middle East.

> A woman who almost died in childbirth who then created a way for blood donations to be mobilized by employing women in Africa to reach remote hospitals. The movement has saved over 40k lives.

> A woman who was a general contractor and was tired of being told construction is "a man's work," so she started a nonprofit teaching girls of color from the inner city how to build things and giving them affirmations as they use chop saws.

Pain is an opportunity to ask: “Given what’s occurring, how do I want to move forward?”

Pain does not need to be wasted. You can use it to guide you to what’s next.

#3: Do What is YOURS to Do
Every speaker was on stage because they owned what was theirs to do. They took their pain/upset/challenges/inspiration and opened up to how they could create a systemic solution. They did not think about what would get them on the TED stage as a speaker; they thought about how to help people. They embraced what was theirs to do.

There is only one you, and I don’t have to know you personally to say that you have a whole lot of capability and value to bring to the world simply based on your own life experience. There is only one you, and we need your stories and your creativity. Every person has something to offer.

Consider what is yours to do. Small actions can render huge impact.

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We have all experienced pain and challenges and upset. What will you do with yours?

For those of you who desire to give a TED talk, following the above just might get you there!